FREE YOURSELF FROM SELF-SABOTAGING HABITS

Location: Cassa Residence Pants: Melesia Robinson Top: Amazon Shoes: Jordan 1 Mid SE Dark Chocolate (GS) Hat: H&M

Greeting Earthlings, 

Quick update on my life. As you all know, I am not a big fan of the gym. The last couple of weeks have been fantastic for me mentally and physically because I've been working out. I've been feeling so amazing lately and I'm thankful that one change has led to many awesome days. Yesterday, I had the pleasure of shooting at a luxury residence & hotel in Time Square. I was looking to book a studio, then it hit me that it would be cool to shoot at the hotel where I would have unlimited time and access. I immediately dismissed the thought, then revised it with positive self-talk. After thinking about what the potential outcome could be, I proceeded to text the point of contact. As I waited, I hoped that he would say "yes" and when he did, I laughed out of shock but was filled with joy. Because of my self-sabotaging habits, I tend to sabotage my own efforts. It was so easy for me to dismiss the idea of asking because I don't like to think that I am a burden. 

Lucky for me I am all for healing and finding the roots of these behaviors because I refuse to stay stuck in areas God said I would prosper in. Let's heal together.... shall we? 

Self-sabotaging behaviors can be defined as behaviors we engage in that prevent us from achieving our goals. As I grew to know myself as a person, I became aware of how destructive some of the behaviors I possess were. In my experience, the biggest challenges I have faced were not asking for help, being an over-giver, trying to save everyone, being a yes girl, perfectionism, giving my energy freely, overthinking, showing up for others without allowing them to show up for me, and much more. As you are reading this, I am sure that you are either able to relate to this or might have recognized these behaviors within yourself or around you. The most significant thing in life is balance, and that is what I am striving to achieve in my life. 

It is important to understand that some of the behaviors that lead to self-sabotage are procrastination, perfectionism, unhealthy comparisons, rumination, overthinking, negative self-talk, ignoring feelings, avoiding risks, and not defining boundaries. All of these behaviors can be harmful because they keep us from taking action and achieving our goals. They can also lead to feelings of guilt and shame, which can further prevent us from taking action. It is helpful to recognize when you are engaging in these behaviors and to find healthy ways to address them. This can be done by replacing unhelpful thoughts with more positive ones, challenging negative beliefs, and reframing situations in a constructive manner. Be kind and gentle with yourself in this process. 

Here are 21 common self sabotaging behaviors: 

1. Not asking for help 
2. Procrastinating or avoiding tasks 
3. Over-committing yourself
4. Setting unrealistic expectations 
5. Self-doubt or negative self-talk 
6. Perfectionism 
7.  Focusing on the past or worrying about the future 
8.  Blaming others 
9.  Refusing to take responsibility 
10.  Allowing fear to dictate decisions 
11.  Ignoring sound advice 
12.  Not saying "no" to requests 
13.  Comparing yourself to others 
14.  Constantly seeking validation from others 
15.  Believing you do not deserve success 
16. Refusing to take risks 
17. Not believing in yourself 
18. Avoiding change
19. Giving up too easily 
20. Overthinking 
21.  Not asking for help

How many of these did you relate to? 

10 Ways to free yourself from self-sabotaging habits 

1. Identify the source. You must identify the source of your self-sabotaging habits in order to be able to free yourself from them. Consider the reasons why you are performing these behaviors, and what is driving you to act in this manner.

2. Change your environment. It can be beneficial to change your environment in order to help you break routines and habits that lead to self-sabotage. Try changing things up if you're always stressed out in a particular place and trying something different if you're always stressed out there.

3. Find a healthy distraction. When you feel like you're on the verge of self-sabotage, take a moment and do something else to distract your mind. Spend some time exercising, watching a movie, or calling a friend and talking about your day.

4. Practice positive self-talk. If you remind yourself that you are capable and that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, you will succeed. You can break the vicious cycle of self-sabotage by using positive self-talk and encouraging yourself to do better.

5. Set achievable goals. Setting achievable goals can give you a sense of accomplishment and create a sense of pride in your work. This can help break the cycle of self-sabotage.

6. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness involves being present in the moment and paying attention to your feelings and thoughts. Maintaining control over your behaviors and thoughts is possible through mindfulness.

7. Get organized. Having a plan and structure can help you stay on track and avoid getting sidetracked by your self-sabotaging habits.

8. Get support. Talking to a friend, family member, or mental health professional can provide you with the support you need to break the cycle of self-sabotage.

9. Avoid triggers. Remind yourself of the things that trigger your self-sabotaging behavior and try to avoid them.

10. Celebrate small wins. Celebrating small wins can help you focus on the positive and break the cycle of self-sabotage.

    
    

    "I refuse to stay stuck in areas God said I would prosper in". - Melesia Robinson

    Check out the Heal The Root post to read about some of my other struggles : Here 

     

     

    PS: I LOVE YOU!

    Please check out my book #SorryMelody, available on Amazon.

    
    

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