An Entrepreneur Struggles

This morning I thought about my dreams and goals and crumbled into tears. Entrepreneurship looks so easy on the outside, if only people understood the things being battled behind closed doors, it would totally change their perspectives. Imagine your life for a second being a fashion designer, which is very hands-on and requires so much time, while also being your own promotional team, handling all posts on your social media platforms, arranging photoshoots; reaching out to the photographers, models, makeup artists, hairstylists, the list goes on for the daily task of a one-man-band. While the end results often come out amazing, there are many logistical hurdles that have to be overcome, that many aren’t aware of. It sure is a boatload of things to handle while steering the ship. Wouldn’t you agree? 

I’m was so used to things just always falling into place with little to no hiccups. Lately, things haven’t been so easy and that’s okay, but when will it all smooth out. I’m not looking for perfection, I just need a serious break. Lord, send me a team! But first I need the money for a team, Lol. They would free me up to get so much more accomplished. When you complete one thing, there’s ten thousand more to go. The day I took the above photo it was my final week of classes; I was so excited to be on the final lap of receiving my bachelor's. I was in shock, I was nervous, but I felt so empowered. I felt like I could concur the world. Just kidding about concurring the world, but I really felt like I was on top of my game.

From a photo shoot in 2017

It was the week of presentations, its everything I’ve been working on for the past 4.5 years, so, I assumed it would be a piece a cake. This is my business, I thought to myself, I got this shit. I even took it upon myself to record myself while practicing in the mirror. I nailed it, over and over again. Then the day came for me to show up and show out, anddd I crumbled (insert ugly sad cry)… I was so confident about going up in front of everyone. I was dressed the part. I mean sis’s hair, nails, dress, and shoes exuded pure confidence. I got up there and the ball dropped, my mouth all of a sudden lost all its moisture, I mean it went total cottonmouth, everything I thought I wanted to say became a big blur. It was a nightmare. I started thinking to myself “girl, you really need to get out your head.” 

I finally mustered up the courage to get through the presentation. Granted, there were lots of afterthoughts and mamba jamba or mumbo jumbo, whatever that means.

From a photo shoot in 2019

Entrepreneurship isn’t easy, but it sure as hell is worth it! I feel like a very successful fashion designer, simply because I’ve made many women look and feel confident in my garments. For me that is a huge accomplishment, that is a success, and I will continue to build upon that success to have a bigger impact in the fashion industry!